KristieDean.com

Your mom was right.  The only way to get a friend is to be a friend.  It is impossible to make friends if you consistently push people away.  One way to be a friend is to listen to people.  Listening is a lost art.  When you listen to someone you should not be thinking about what you want to say next.  Really focus on the person. Ask questions. Focus on them!

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“Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses.” Alphonse Carr certainly had the right attitude about life. There are times in my life that I have found myself moaning about something in my life for which I should be grateful. It is possible to discover the gratitude attitude instead.
1. Be present. It’s a beautiful season, here in East Tennessee. The leaves are changing; the air is crisp. I had not noticed ANY of this until this week, when I finally slowed down and took it all in.
2. Say thanks. Every day I notice how little our society says “thank you” anymore. It seems we have a sense of “entitlement.” No one owes us anything. Nothing. We should be grateful to others for any kindness they show us.
3. Be grateful.  List everything for which you should be grateful. I’m grateful for my family and friends, for God’s love and generosity towards me, and many other reasons. Sometimes when something is bothering me, I focus on that and get unhappy. I’ve been accused of being a Pollyanna (thanks, Kate!), but in reality, I have had some rough times. Really rough times. I just have chosen to focus on what is right in my life. Does that mean I never get discouraged, that I never get down? Quite the contrary! I can complain with the best of them. I have just noticed that I am happier (and my family and friends are happier) when I focus on the positive. Nothing may inherently change about the situation, but my attitude will make a big difference.

Some people argue that a positive attitude does not help; I disagree, because I have lived both ways.  Being positive is infinitely better.

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Yesterday, I did not work. I spent the day relaxing with my husband. Yes, we both had work to do – we are busy working with Internet Marketing. However, we both realize that to recharge and reconnect is important to both of us individually and as a couple. Taking time out yesterday will help both of us work harder today.

Don’t get so busy that you neglect yourself, your family, and your relationship with God.

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Time. It’s such a strange concept. When you are having fun, it seems to fly by quickly. When you are bored or waiting for an adventure, time creeps along slowly. But, regardless of how fast or slow time moves, the fact remains that you have a finite amount of this commodity. And commodity it is. Time is worth money – just ask any big CEO if he spends time doing the little chores like filing, etc. My guess is he (or she!) will say “no, my time is too valuable.”

Well, guess what? Your time is valuable as well. What are you spending your time on today? Have you decided on which of your goals is your priority? Most of your time should be spent here – on this priority goal. My only caveat is that you need to spend time with your family and God. Don’t let your goal become all-consuming.

Good luck in your endeavors!

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I spent my honeymoon in Greece. One day, we were taking a cruise when we stopped to visit “old town” Skiathos. I am a real history buff, and I wanted to see this town where the people of Skiathos had once taken refuge. The only problem was it was at the top of a gigantic mountain (at least to me, it was a mountain!) I hesitantly began the climb, cringing when the guide nonchalantly told me to “watch out for the snakes.” Under my breath, I muttered, “This had better be worth it.” Once I was at the top of the cliff, overlooking the cerulean blue sea, I knew at once that it had been worth every difficulty to get there.

It is just like that in our personal and business lives. We want to do something, but it looks like it is a mountain looming ahead of us. Take heart. It takes one step right after another, but you can get there. Watch out for the snakes that might try to hold you back, but just keep going.

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We are adults, right? The last time I checked, I was an adult. I have all the adult responsibilities. Mortgage? Check. Credit card bills? Check. Utilities? Check. Drama? Che…Wait! That’s not an adult trait, is it? Nope. At least, it shouldn’t be.

Adulthood is a time in our lives where we should be able to be ourselves without worrying what others think. This was (still is, to be honest) a big problem for me. From looking around, I can see that it is still a problem for others as well.

What I am coming to learn and finally accept is that if you are true to yourself and your values, you do not need to worry about what other people think. It’s between you and God.

Too many times, we (including myself here!) get hung up on something we perceive that a friend has done to us. In all reality, the person didn’t “do” it to you, you just perceived it that way. You cannot be in another human’s mind to figure out his/her motive.

I knew someone who “perceived” herself into misery. If she liked a couch and her sister bought it, she accused her sister of buying it so that she could not have it. When her neighbor painted his house the color she had mentioned (in passing, mind you) she thought he had done it on purpose. Why she thought that people had these evil intentions toward her, I have no idea. She was a sweet, loving person. I bought into her dramas until she turned it on me. Her birthday fell on a Friday one year, and so I decided to have her party (yes, my family and I were throwing her a party) on Saturday. She accused of us moving her birthday celebration on purpose to hurt her. I truly loved this individual, but in the four years since I have talked to her, I have NOT missed her drama one iota.

Take a moment to consider that most people do not make you the center of their world. Just try to cut them (and yourself) a break. NO more drama! I know this is certainly my goal.

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This is Skiathos  - a wonderful island in Greece where parts of Mamma Mia was filmed.  One of my life dreams was to visit Greece.  I truly believe that if you have a worthwhile goal,  you can accomplish it – and other people will help you do it.  Thanks to my wonderful parents, I was able to secure a timeshare on this island.

The funny thing is, when I watched Mamma Mia, I said, “I want to go there.” I meant Greece.  God has a sense of humor, because the island I ended up on was the one where parts of the movie were filmed.

Keep your dreams alive – you never know when they might come true!

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Today is surgery +3 days. I expected to feel much better by now, but today is the worst yet. Does that mean I made a mistake? No. It is just a tiny glitch in the process.

It’s the same in life and business. Just because you hit a glitch doesn’t mean that you’ve failed. It means you need to persist and keep going. Look to see what might be causing your problem, and then look for a work-around.

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It is amazing how people react to different events.  I have two wonderful acquaintances.  I’ll call them Dan and Alex. Dan has very serious issues, but is generally upbeat and sees the world as positive.  Alex  has issues as well (we all do, don’t we?) but is generally pessimistic in outlook.  I can not help but see how these two people’s lives are radically different.

I find myself seeking out Dan, because even when he is talking about his health issues, he does it in such a way as to make you feel like his life has hope.  He is a true believer in this quote, “Accept fate, and move on. Don’t yield to the seductive pull of self-pity. Acting like a victim threatens your future.”

Alex is so much fun to be around when he is in a good mood, but watch out if you catch him on a bad day.  His mantra is “Why did this happen to me? My life will be awful, forever.”  He never takes responsibility for what is going on in his own life. His wife is awful. His job sucks. His kids never pay attention.  Yada. Yada. Yada. After a while, I tune him out.

Who would you rather be around? Dan or Alex? Better yet, who would you prefer to be like?  Both of these men have problems in their lives. The only difference is that Dan is doing something about it.

Be like Dan!

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Just yesterday morning I had surgery. Today, I am in that recovery phase where I feel as if I will always be sick and in pain.

For many of us, this happens in our life. We start to make a change and then realize it hurts more the day AFTER we made the cut than the day we made the choice. For many people this is the excuse they need to go back to the way it was.

Why? In two or three more days, I am going to feel better than I have felt in a long time. I had to cut away baggage that was holding me back. Some people need to do this as well.

Don’t let temporary pain blind you to the beauty that is ahead. Press on. Give yourself time to heal.

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